


Dancing on the Highway

by RaeVan87



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A little non-con for a moment but it doesn't go anywhere, F/M, Fluff, Reader Insert, because I like making myself sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6574996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeVan87/pseuds/RaeVan87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader has it bad for Dean and he couldn't be more oblivious. When the reader finally tries to move on and goes on a date with another hunter, things don't go according to plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This was supposed to be smut... now it's fluff and sadness. I don't know how that happened. Sorry.

_“Here if you want me, listening so close from far away_  
_I memorized what you told me, like a foreigner on holiday_  
_I know to smile at confusion, not forget the soul that smiles on me_  
_Dancing on the highway, the broken line that led from you to me_  
_Well, I’ll be at my station all night, so come on by if you feel like_  
  
_Still here if you want me, look at what I can do with empty time_  
_A lost love that likes to haunt me - it’s waiting around to meet me when I die_  
_Death surrounds, protects the living - this is what you said and I agreed_  
_Not to be unforgiving just because your soul’s done time and free_  
_Because I’m here if you want me, my love, dancing on the highway_  
  
_But your sun still burns my eye_  
_Oh, why?_  
_Oh, why?”_

_Elliott Smith – Dancing on the Highway_

 

 

 Watching Dean flirt with random waitresses used to be a sport that you and Sam loved to watch, making commentary at it like announcers at a game. You cheered his successes and over analyzed his failures in play by play detail. Over time it seemed harder and harder to watch and less like a sport as his antics ate away at you. It became more like a knife twisting in your gut at the mere thought of it and caused you physical pain to witness.

 

The exact moment couldn’t be pinpointed, but you’d fallen for Dean. Hard. Sam seemed to notice these changes but politely kept quiet, giving up on commentating Dean’s flirting-escapades when he saw you were purposely not noticing them.

This evening wasn’t any different. You sat in a crowded bar facing Sam, counting the number of times you chewed each bite of hamburger while Dean flirted with some beautiful woman working behind the bar. You refused to look, but by the flirtatious laughter that echoed out from behind you, it was pretty obvious that Dean would be hooking up again tonight. Sighing, you drink down the last of your beer and flag down your waitress for another.

“You know, you could just…” Sam began, carefully watching your actions with a concerned look on his face.

“Nope. No. Don’t say anything” you interject, holding your hand up to silence him. Sam had stayed out of your personal business for a long time; there was no need for him to step in now.

“Maybe if you told him…” he pressed, sighing with exasperation.

“No, this is fine. I’m fine” you insist, forcing a grin to your face while picking up the beer the waitress brought and downing half the glass in one long draw.

“Yeah, you seem fine” Sam replied sarcastically with a lighthearted chuckle.

Setting your beer down you look up at Sam, “It’s better this way. Or less complicated, anyway” you tell him. More trying to convince yourself than him.

He nods, dropping the subject as Dean approaches and slides into the booth beside you.

“Dude, ex-gymnast. Pinch me I must be dreamin’!” Dean boasts to Sam, reaching over to snatch a fry off your plate.

“Uh huh… Look Dean, we’ve got three deaths in the last 24 hours and no clear indication as to whom or what is doing it. You really think you should be…” Sam gestured dismissively at the bar and you went back to quietly nibbling on your food.

Dean looked crestfallen, “C’mon, you guys can handle the research without me, can’t you? Didn’t you hear me? Gymnast, Sammy. Gymnast.” You can feel Dean’s gaze slide over to you but can’t bring yourself to look back at him.

“We still have one of the crime scenes to investigate and two witnesses to question…” Sam continues, his patience obviously dwindling.

In truth, you and Sam could have easily handled things on your own and you knew he was just trying to help you out. It was kind of him, but completely unnecessary, things were the way they were between you and Dean and you were slowly accepting that.

“Dean’s right, Sam. We can handle this on our own” you pipe in, giving Sam a look that pleads for him to leave the situation alone.

“Ah! That’s my girl” Dean praises, throwing an arm around you and kissing the side of your head before turning to flag down a waitress.

You swallow the lump rising in your throat with the rest of your beer and ignore Sam staring at you. Under the table you feel his hand give your knee a sympathetic squeeze and you chuckle in spite of yourself, feeling like a prize idiot.

Later that evening when Dean dropped you and Sam back off at the motel, you lay on the musty smelling bed, staring at the ceiling as it spun from side to side in your drunken state. Just mulling over your poor choice in men.

“Why doesn’t Dean like me, Sam?” you mumble, finally spilling out the words that had been tormenting you all evening.

Sam looked up from his laptop, raising his eyebrows and pursing his lips slightly, “Dean’s just… He’s always…” he begins, then quickly changes tactics, “Trying to figure out why Dean does the things he does is like trying to solve the riddle of the sphinx…” He shrugs his broad shoulders, getting up from the table and crossing the room to sit beside you on the bed.

“Maybe you just need to try something new? You spend all your time cooped up with us, maybe you need to get out with someone else for a change?” he suggests, looking down at you sympathetically.

“What, like Garth?” you throw back, rolling your eyes and regretting it instantly as the action disorients you.

Sam laughed, “Okay, maybe not Garth…”

A light bulb went off in your head as you remembered a hunter you met back home. He’d bugged you to get a drink with him many times and every time you ran into him he always seemed to show an interest. Maybe Sam was right. Maybe getting out with someone other than them was what you needed.

You rolled over and grabbed your cellphone off the nightstand, blinking hard a few times to try and straighten your vision as you scrolled through your contacts. Finding his name you sent him a quick text asking if he was near your location and if he wanted to get a drink. A little bubble of excitement built up in your stomach at the prospect of seeing him and for a few moments you’d almost forgotten all about Dean.

A few seconds later your phone chimed letting you know you’d received a text. You took a breath as you opened the message.

**_‘_ ** _**Pick you up tomorrow at 8’** _

You let out a small squeal of delight.

“So, who’s the lucky guy?” Sam asked, giving you a pat on the leg before getting back up off the bed and crossing back to where his laptop was.

“You remember that hunter we ran into awhile back? Tall, dark hair?” you ask, though Sam’s definition of tall and yours were likely to differ.

“I think so… back on the Shifter case a few months ago, right?” he recalls.

“Yeah, him. I’ve known him for awhile and he seems like a good guy…” You roll off the bed, tucking your phone in your pocket and plunking yourself down at the table where Sam had his books spread out.

It was hard to get your head back into research mode after that. For the first time in a long while you found yourself actually looking forward to something.

~ ~*~ * ~*~ ~

 

You’d spent the last hour staring into the hazy bathroom mirror of the motel room, preening yourself and trying to decide exactly what you wanted to do with your hair. You couldn’t recall the last date you went on and were surprised at how nervous you found yourself.

When your phone chimed you jumped, startling out of the inner monologue you were running to calm your nerves.

_**‘Outside whenever you’re ready’** _

You’d specifically asked him to wait for you outside, as you weren’t sure you wanted to go through the process of explaining to Dean where you were going or who you were going with. You were certain Sam would fill him in on all the details once you'd left.

You looked over yourself one last time in the dingy bathroom mirror. You wore the black skinny jeans that made your ass look incredible, and a plain black tank top that hugged your curves perfectly. The outfit showed off your assets while still leaving something to the imagination. Perfect for a first date.

Exiting the bathroom you were surprised to see Dean sitting on the bed facing the bathroom door. A stern look on his face and a guilty one on Sam's was the only indication you needed to know that Sam had already spilled the beans. You did you best to smile at Dean and act innocently enough. It wasn't like he had feelings for you so you weren't sure what he looked so upset about.

“Going somewhere?” Dean asked with an air of parental authority.

“Out. Is that a problem?” you reply dismissively. It was one thing for Dean to leave your feelings for him unrequited, it was quite another for him to interfere with your plans to get over him.

“Who are you going with?” he presses, standing up and folding his arms over his chest. You knew the maneuver. He was trying to make himself appear bigger – some sort of a weird display that men did in a display of dominance.

You couldn't help but laugh, “Why are you so worried all of a sudden?”

A slightly surprised and almost offended expression crossed his face, “Why shouldn't I worry?”

You shake your head, stepping passed him and heading towards the door, “Don't wait up mom. I'll be home later tonight” you add in sarcastically, waving without looking back at either of them.

You step out of the motel room to see the cherry red 65' Mustang coupe parked outside. It was shining and pristine just as you remembered it.

The hunter, whom everyone called Lex, leaned casually against the side of the car wearing his leather jacket to ward off the coolness of the night. His face lit up in a smile at the sight of you and you shivered against the cold in spite of yourself.

Without hesitation he pushed away from the car and slid his jacket off.

“You know, you really should be dressed warmer” he chuckled as he placed the jacket over your shoulders. His hands lingered there for just a moment before he turned you to face him. He lightly cupped your chin and turned your face from side to side.

“Yup, you're still as gorgeous as the day I met you” he grinned, letting his hand fall away.

“You sure lay that charm on pretty thick, Lex” you say, trying to hide the blush creeping onto your cheeks.

“Only for you” he replies with a wink.

His thick, dark hair is pushed back out of his face, coming down around his ears. It's slightly longer than you remembered, but you definitely preferred that to the shorter look he was sporting last time. His strong facial features are spread wide in a grin as he beams down at you, as if he's giving you a moment to simply stare at him, his brilliant blue eyes alight with amusement.

“Well, the night is not getting any younger and I need a drink” you finally say after a measure of silence passes.

He nods and simply gestures you towards the car, opening the passenger side door for you and standing aside so you can slide in.

You head to the bar while having an easy conversation back and forth, catching up on what one another has been up to for the passed few months. Much like you, he'd been keeping busy working various cases and trying not to get himself killed along the way. His personality was so laid back and carefree that you couldn't help but feel comfortable around him and you mentally kicked yourself for not taking him up on his offer sooner.

The rest of the evening was much of the same, you both talked and flirted shamelessly as the number of empty beer bottles was steadily increasing between the two of you. Jokes became funnier, personal space grew smaller and you inhibitions lowered considerably.

“Maybe we should get out of here?” Lex suggested, leaning forward and placing his hand on your knee under the table. His sly smile was intoxicating and suddenly his offer sounded like the best thing you'd heard all day.

You'd barely made it out to his car before his hands found you. You stumbled and had your back pressed up against the passenger door as he roughly kissed you, leaning his body into you. You reciprocated, weaving your fingers into his hair and his mouth trailed away from yours to worry at the exposed contour of your neck.

Your body responds to his eagerly, but something begins to nag in the pit of your stomach. Your brains struggles to comprehend through the cloud of alcohol and you squeeze your eyes shut, willing the feeling to go away. It dawns on you that you know exactly what this feeling is telling you, but you desperately try to shut it out. Your body likes the attention, but it's not Dean, it's not the man that you want giving you this attention. It's stupid, you know that it's not worth holding out for someone who obviously doesn't feel the same way for you, but you can't help it and now that you've come to that realization you can't let it go.

“Wait... Lex” you stammer, trying to keep your coherent thought while you have it.

“It's okay, I have protection” he mumbles into your throat, his hands gliding up your front to explore your curves.

“No, that's not... stop...” you try to say, finding complete sentences too difficult a task.

“C'mon, we've both been waiting for this for so long” he urges, not ceasing his busy hands as they squeeze your breasts.

You try to push him away gently, pressing his shoulders with both hands. He bats your arms away as if it were nothing and slips his arms behind your back, unhooking your bra.

It becomes apparent to you that, regardless of the fact that you were still standing in a of a parking lot in the middle of the night, that Lex was not taking 'no' for an answer. The dizziness of how many beers you've had weighs heavily on you and you try again with more force to push him away from you.

“I said 'stop'” you press, more firmly this time.

“Aw, c'mon, I can change your mind... Make you want it” he teases into your ear.

You see movement to your left a moment too late and before you know what is going on Lex is staggering a few paces away, clutching the side of his face.

“She said 'stop' you son of a bitch” Dean's angry voice fumes.

“Winchester, why don't you mind your own business? It's obvious she wants it” Lex growls back, checking the hand that was holding his face to see if it was bleeding.

“Pretty sure when she told you to stop, that sounds like a pretty damn clear indication that she doesn't” Dean replies, putting his arm around you.

“C'mon, let's get you back” Dean states as he begins to steer you away. He pauses and looks over his shoulder, “And you if come anywhere near her again, I'll kill you.” His tone implies there was no room for discussion and you were certain that he wouldn't hesitate to follow through on that threat. Lex obviously felt the same way as he sneered at Dean and stalked off to the driver's side of his car.

“I'm keeping the jacket” you call out as you pull it closer over your shoulders, thankful that you hadn't taken it off at the bar.

You were embarrassed by how much help you needed getting to the Impala and once you were seated you silently willed the world to stop spinning. Dean climbed in beside you and turned his body towards yours, staring at you as if waiting for you to say something.

“You don't need a guy like that, you hear me?” he says angrily after a beat. “Why would you even agree to go out with him?” He pops the key in the ignition and fires it up, only to be stunned by your quick response.

“Because I'm trying to get over you, you idiot”

He doesn't get a chance to respond as the world shifts again and the moment your head leans to touch the window, everything goes black.

When you awoke you were snuggled up on your motel bed, wrapped in the cheap comforter with a gross taste of stale alcohol in your mouth. Your eyelids felt like sandpaper as you pried them open, blinking back against the sun that barely wiggled it's way through the window.

“You're probably going to need this” Dean's voice stated, though you couldn't yet tell where he was.

A greasy breakfast appeared on the bed beside you and you mumbled something like a 'thank you'. Not bothering to sit up you slip an arm out from under the covers to snag a piece of toast and nibble on it tentatively. Even the mere action of chewing makes your head throb but you force yourself through it.

“So, what are you like a fairy godmother now? Guardian angel? You just magically appear when I need help?” you grumble. You almost mistakenly said 'when I need you' and were grateful that you had the sense to keep that to yourself. However, all too quickly you remember your last words to Dean last night and just like that your headache feels that much worse.

“I didn't trust that guy from the moment we met him” Dean replied, somewhat dodging the question.

“Sam told you who I was going out with?” you ask, though you already knew the answer. You finished off the piece of toast and reach out for another, finding the food helps immensely.

You finally look up at Dean who had pulled one of the small chair from the table over to the bedside to watch you. The thought of him watching over you made your heart give a pathetic 'thump' and you swallowed your pride along with the next over-sized bite of toast. His expression was level and unreadable but something about it looked disappointed. You couldn't help but feel like this might be the end of your partnership with the two brothers.

Dean nodded his response and moved to sit on the bed beside you, “About what you said last night...” he began.

“It was nothing,” you interjected. “Just the alcohol talking.” You apatite waned and you put the piece of toast back on the plate.

“I'm not sure that it was, Y/N” he presses.

You can see he's staring at you from the corner of your eye but you can't bring yourself to look at him.

“Are you really surprised, Dean?” you finally admit in a hushed voice.

“Honestly, yeah... I thought you and Sam always liked taking the mickey out of me when I hit on other girls at the bar” he answered swiftly. It would appear that he'd given this some thought while you were blacked out.

“We did... I did... but... I don't know. Something changed I guess....” you trailed off.

You forced yourself to look up at him. His jade eyes staring intently at you as if seeing you for the first time. His usual snarky, down to business personality was gone and something softer replaced it.

“It's all for nothing though... You obviously don't like me back.” The words sting your throat as they come out.

“What makes you say that?” he challenges, furrowing his brow slightly.

“If you did you would have done something. Every bar we go to you're always trailing after some hot woman, but never me. I'm right here. If you wanted me you would have acted on it” the words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them.

He leans in slightly closer, “And what would you have had me do?”

Your skin suddenly feels like it's on fire and the intense blush creeping over you is enough to make your eyes water. “I don't know... kiss me maybe?”

“Yeah?” he grins cheekily and leans towards you, his lips barely brushing against yours as you attempt to keep the shock off of your face.

“Dean?” you whisper as his lips leave yours.

“I've always had a thing for you, Y/N” he confesses, chuckling at the surprised reaction of your expression. “I just... wasn't sure you wanted to cross business with pleasure” he teases.

You couldn't help but laugh. It all seemed so surreal that he could actually want you in the same way you want him. The fog that had previously surrounded your brain retreated and suddenly everything felt startling clear as you studied his features. His face is still close to yours, a cheeky grin plastered on his face and you can't help but mirror it.

“So where do we go from here?” you ask him, trying to keep yourself from staring at his lips and wishing he would kiss you again.

“Well, for starters, you need a shower... and some toothpaste” he teases, standing up from the chair and leaning over to roll into bed behind you.

He wiggles in close behind you, dodging as you try to swat at him for teasing you. As his arms circle around your waist you decide to let it slide, but vow to yourself that he won't be so lucky next time.

Without intending to, your eyes grow heavy as you settle in to the comfort of having him that close to you, his strong arms surrounding you and his gently breathing lulling you off to a peaceful sleep.

An unmeasurable amount of time later the sun stabs at your eyes and you groan, pulling the blankets over your head. At the movement you're surprised to find that Dean isn't still in the bed with you. But of course, why would he be? He probably thought you needed the extra sleep, which in all honesty you most definitely did.

“Morning sleepyhead” Sam chuckles, tossing a bottle of water onto the bed beside you.

“What time is it?” you inquire groggily, cracking open the bottle and taking a small sip.

“Almost noon” he informs, shaking his head with a grin.

Your heart speeds a little as you look around the room, noticing Dean is no where to be seen.

“Where's Dean?” you ask as you sit up, stretching out your aching muscles.

Sam hesitated, looking down at his laptop.

“After he rescued you last night he went back to the bar to get that waitress. He hasn't come back yet” he answered carefully.

You opened your mouth to protest, wanting to tell Sam that you had just seen Dean this morning, but you stop yourself. It wasn't real. None of it had been real. It had just been an alcohol soaked dream, a fantasy. Your heartbeat hammers through your veins and pulses loudly in your ears. Flinging the blankets off of yourself you hurry to the bathroom, closing the door just as the first of many tears begin to slide down your face.

Of course it was just a dream...

 


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Sam realize that something is amiss when Dean doesn’t come back to the motel. Returning to where Dean had defended her from Lex, they split up, only for Reader to discover that foul play was involved. She’s recklessly determined to not only find out what happened, but where Dean is as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the fluff and the honey nut feelios.

**Dancing on the Highway Chapter 2**

 

**Part 2**

 

 

Wallowing in self-pity was surprisingly easy to do in a cheap, dank motel room. Even with Sam watching you with curious eyes, you let yourself sink into misery. The date with Lex had turned out to be a major bust and your subconscious apparently wanted to torture you with dreams of what happiness looked like. The dream had hurt you deeply, showing you exactly what you wanted out of this life, only to have reality make you see just how much of a fool you actually were to think you could have it. Why would Dean have chosen you when he had so many beautiful waitresses and randoms to hook up with for an easy one night stand?

 

That's when it struck you.

 

“Sam... how often does Dean stay the night with a girl he picked up at the bar?” you asked, rolling over to sit up on the bed.

 

Sam smirked for a moment like it was a joke and his face suddenly fell. “Never... he never does.”

 

“Something is wrong Sam... Try his cell” you say hastily, reaching over to check your phone in the vain hope that maybe he had sent a text as to where he was. You heart give a leap when you saw a message, but when you read that it was just Lex you held your breath, seeing the words typed across the screen.

 

**This isn't over.**

 

“He's not answering” Sam said, tensing his jaw and hanging up his phone. It was obvious he was trying to decide what to do next as he raked his fingers through his hair.

 

“You don't think that maybe his lady friend just has him tied up... like literally?”you wonder, though the worry in your gut tells you otherwise. You pushed the concern about Lex's message out of your mind as you had more pressing things to worry about than a man's fragile and wounded ego.

 

Sam quirked a small smile though it was creased with anxiety, “I don't think there's a person alive who could keep him tied up for this long.”

 

“Then we need to get out there... look around... something” you state, bouncing your leg in nervous agitation. A thought begins to percolate in the back of your mind and you pick up your phone again, staring at Lex's message.

 

“Damn...” you whisper to yourself. This couldn't just be a coincidence.

 

“Sam...”you begin, getting off the bed and handing your phone over to him. He looks at it, staring at the words for a moment before looking up at you, eyebrows arched in worry.

 

“You think Lex had something to do with this?” he asks, handing you back your phone.

 

“Honestly, I have no idea... but it's the only thing we have to go on right now so it's worth looking into” the words rolled out of your mouth as you were already grabbing your jacket and heading towards the door.

 

Sam didn't waste any time in following and he made short work of hot wiring a car in the parking lot. You'd always had a small inkling of guilt in the back of your mind when you had to do these things, but even that didn't bother you right now as Dean was the only thing occupying your thoughts.

 

The bar wasn't far from the motel but it felt as though you were driving in slow motion. When Sam pulled into the parking lot you were already out of the car before he came to a complete stop. Your heart thundered in your ears as you spotted Lex's car, still parked exactly where it had been last night.

 

“Son of a bitch” you muttered to yourself, turning to head towards the bar with fire in your eyes.

 

“Whoa, whoa, hang on. We don't know if he did anything yet... Why don't you go look around his car for anything that stands out and I'll go see if he's inside and talk to him” Sam offered, placing his hand on your shoulder to stop you from pushing passed him.

 

You knew he was right but rage bubbled inside of you and you wanted answers. Reluctantly you nod to Sam, exhaling hard as if hoping to push some of the anger out of you. Rage tended to cloud your thoughts and right now you needed to think as clearly as possible. Though it could still be innocent enough, you wanted to keep a level head on your shoulders should you need it.

 

“Don't do anything rash, okay?” Sam says, giving your shoulder a squeeze before leaving you. You couldn't help but snort, even though rash decisions were something of your specialty.

 

Once Sam was out of sight you casually meandered over to Lex's car, trying the driver's side door handle. You were a little surprised when it opened, but you slid down into the driver's seat just the same, looking around for anything amiss. Everything looked exactly as you'd remembered, save for one small difference. Three drops of blood stained the passenger seat and you could see his car key down on the floor mat.

 

“Shit...” you whispered to yourself. You looked over your shoulder towards the bar, contemplating going in to get Sam.

 

“Sorry, Sam... I'm doing something rash” you mutter as you pick up the key off the floor and put it in the ignition.

 

The car roars to life and you throw it into reverse, backing out of the parking lot just as you see Sam come jogging out of the bar. You catch his gaze in the rear view and give him a sad look before slipping it back into drive and speeding away. You knew he would follow you, that was a given, but the feeling eating away inside of you... you just couldn't wait.

 

You didn't have a destination in mind, but this one highway town didn't leave much to the imagination and you'd hoped you'd luck out and see the Impala somewhere. You could see Sam exiting the parking lot in his stolen car and you stepped on the gas pedal. You weren't sure why but you almost didn't want him to follow you. Maybe it was just that you wanted to be the one to find Dean, to save him. It was foolish and went against every hunter's instinct you had, but the tiny voice inside you, the one that spoke directly into your heart, whispered that just maybe it would be enough to make Dean fall for you.

 

As the car raced over a high hill reaching the crest you could see a well concealed dirt road. Turning the car down it with the intention of losing Sam, you lowered your speed and drove along the bumpy path, just far enough in that Sam might drive passed without noticing you. Your eyes locked on the rear view mirror and the road behind you, you waited with baited breath. His car sped by without any hesitation or indication that he saw your sitting there and you exhaled hard, leaning your head back against the seat.

 

You'd be so preoccupied watching for Sam behind you that you hadn't even noticed the dilapidated old farm house behind you... or the shiny black Impala parked in front of it. You froze for a moment, surprised and slightly confused before you eased out of the car. You blood began to run cold as you started to notice more details of the scene. Both front doors on the Impala were left open, not something Dean would do willingly. The dirt and grass around the car was marred with evidence of a struggle. Your eyes dragged up to the farm house and your breath caught in your throat. In the doorway laying on the porch were a pair of legs laying face down, one hiking boot missing.

 

“Dean...” you breathed, feeling panic clutch your chest as you ran from the car towards the figure laying in the doorway.

 

You flew up the rickety old farm house steps and slid to a halt. But it wasn't Dean. It was Lex.

 

Though relief washed over you, you couldn't help but feel the tendrils of guilt start to spread in your soul. He was here because of you. You did this. He may have been an asshole... but he didn't deserve this.

 

Before you could sink too deep in regret, several gun shots rang out from inside the house. Out of instinct you ducked but quickly realized they were coming from somewhere deeper in the house, likely the basement since they sounded slightly muffled. Without a backwards glance at Lex's body, you dashed inside, scanning quickly to find the stairs to the basement. You found a door slightly ajar and behind it a dark staircase led into blackness. You abandoned every bit of a training, every lesson, every base survival instinct you had and flew down the stairs 3 at a time, coming to an open space with a series on halls.

 

Your heart hammered in your ears and you fought to listen for some sign of where the shots had been fired. To your left you could hear muted footsteps and you took off running again. The hall turned suddenly and you barely had time to recover before crashing into it. As you rounded the corner you came face to face with Dean. He stood there looking rough but alive, chest heaving with exertion. You wanted to smile with relief but fear blanketed his face the moment his eyes fell upon you.

 

And that's when you felt the crack against the back of your skull and everything faded to black.

 

~ * ~ * ~

 

When you awoke you were snuggled up on your motel bed, wrapped in the cheap comforter with a gross taste of stale blood in your mouth. Your eyelids felt like sandpaper as you pried them open, blinking back against the sun that barely wiggled it’s way through the window.

 

“You’re probably going to need this” Dean’s voice stated, though you couldn’t yet tell where he was.

De ja vu rang in your head and you blinked hard trying to straighten your vision. Looking around you like you'd never seen the place before. Dean's hand was extended towards you with an ice pack and you gently brushed it away from you, trying to sit up.

 

“Whoa, whoa, probably not a good idea there...” Dean said hurriedly as he got to his feet and tried to ease you back down.

 

“So, what are you like my fairy godmother now?” you rasp, the words clinging in your throat as you repeated yourself from your dream.

 

Dean's voice was gruff, “If I were your fairy godmother you wouldn't have been in this mess in the first place.”

 

You finally look up at Dean who had pulled one of the small chair from the table over to the bedside to watch you. The thought of him watching over you made your heart give a pathetic 'thump’ and you swallowed your pride, trying to shake the feeling of your dream replaying all over again. His expression was level and unreadable but something about it looked disappointed. It was in that moment that you came to the conclusion that you were either dead or just dreaming again.

 

Clenching your teeth together you let out a humorless laugh. Laying back on the pillow and feeling the tears begin to leak from your eyes, you closed them tightly, willing yourself to get away from this nightmare. You could feel Dean shift closer to you, hovering over you as if unsure of how to react.

 

“About what you said the other night” he began, much the same way your dream had gone.

 

“Don't worry about it” you quoted yourself. “It was just the alcohol talking” The tears started to flow faster and your chest shook with each breath. Why couldn't this just end? Why was it torturing you to relive this awful moment of the happiness you couldn't have?

 

“I'm not sure that it was” he presses, though you know the words before he says them.

 

Unlike your dream you can't bring yourself to look at him, if this were death let it come more swiftly and take you away from this. The scene hangs for a moment as if waiting for you to say your lines.

 

“Are you really surprised, Dean?” you whisper, squeezing your eyes shut as more tears streak down.

 

“No... not at all...” he replies in a matching whisper, his words laden with sadness and torment. The sudden change in dialogue has you puzzled and reeling.

 

“I never wanted this life for you” he continued, “I never wanted you to be in harms way and God forbid I be the cause of it. When that demon came up behind you...” his words caught as he fought to keep his voice even. “I stayed away from you because this life... this life isn't made for lovers. It's not made for happy endings. It's not something you can just walk away from when it gets tough... And I can't... I don't want to lose you too.”

 

This was nothing like your previous dream, but you didn't want to submit and believe it was real only for it to be taken away from you, just as the last one had.

 

“Is this a dream?” you asked in a hushed tone, mostly to yourself. The words came out in a breath you'd been been holding, fearing that any movement could snatch this little moment of peace away from you and you would awake.

 

Dean let out a short laugh, “Getting bashed over the head and almost dying seems like a dream to you?”

 

“No... but this is too good to be true... You can't be saying these things... I'm just dreaming again. I'm going to wake up and you're going to be back in the arms of some bartender and I will be here alone...” you said in rushed confession. Finally you let your eyes open and wander over to Dean who watched you with a pained expression.

 

“I never did go back for that waitress... I was going to... but as I drove I remembered the look on your face. I've loved you this whole damn time... and I didn't say anything. I tried to bury myself and forget your face in every woman I've been with, but all I can see is you... And I can't hurt you anymore... even if I'm just trying to protect you. I drove around all night that night, wondering what I could do. Fuck, I still don't know...” he ran his hands through his hair and stood from the chair, coming to sit on the edge of the bed.

 

“When I saw Lex trying to force himself on you... that was too much. I couldn't handle it. I'd never seen you with anyone else and it killed me... I can't even imagine how you hung around all this time watching me do what I did. Then you told me you were trying to get over me... and that was it. That was the last edge I was hanging on to trying to keep myself from you.” his words were rushing out now, stringing together as if he'd been bottling them up for too long.

 

“I saw the text Lex had left you and I knew I needed to get rid of him. When I went back he was in a rage about some demons... and well, I guess you know the rest of the story...” his gaze rested on his lap, watching his hands intently as his thumbs dragged over each other.

 

“You're too good for me. I can't give you the life you deserve...” he says sadly, shaking his head and clenching his jaw.

 

You tried to move again and Dean looked up, holding his hands out for you to stay prone and still. Nodding slightly you relaxed again, catching Dean's gaze for the first time since you woke. Wordlessly you stared at each other, neither of you exactly sure what to say, or maybe you were just afraid to say it. Finally you were the one to break the silence.

 

“I'm a hunter, Dean. I knew the dangers of this life when I signed up...” whatever else you'd planned to say was cut short. A look crossed Dean's face and as if a cold dagger twisted in your gut.

 

“I can't be your happy ending...” he said softly, looking back and forth between your eyes.

 

You choked back the tears that threatened to well up again, “I'm not asking for a happy ending, Dean... But we can be happy for now.”

 

Dean's expression melted and gave way, his gaze still locked onto yours and a thousand scenarios could be seen flashing before his eyes. He swallowed hard, fighting some inner turmoil that you couldn't see. He leaned forward slowly, closing the short distance between your faces until his nose barely ghosted against yours. His focus shifted between your eyes and lips and you held your breath, trying to keep steady and wait for him to react. Tilting his head slightly he let his lips find yours, touching them softly and forming a lock for a fraction of a second.

 

“I can't make promises to how this is going to turn out... but maybe we owe it to ourselves to try” he whispered against your lips

 

“I can accept that” you reply with a small smile. The throbbing in your head gave way to something much more pleasant but still just as dizzying.

 

Dean smiled at you, pulling back he stood up and carefully rolled over you onto the bed, making his best effort to jostle you as little as possible.

 

“So where do we go from here?” you ask him, letting the words from the dream take you again, only this time in a much more pleasant manner.

 

“Well, for starters, you need a shower… and some toothpaste” he teases, wiggling in close behind you, dodging as you try to swat at him for teasing you. As his arms circle around your waist you decide to let it slide, but vow to yourself that he won’t be so lucky next time.

 

“Is it safe to go to sleep?” you ask him, shaking off the remaining tendrils of the dream.

  
  


“I don't think you have a concussion or anything. You should be fine. I'll be right here” Dean muses, kissing the back of your head.

  
  


With his strong arms around you, you begin to drift off to the sounds of his gentle, even breathing. The vestiges of the dream forgotten, you exhale a long, completely deliriously happy sigh and slide into the best sleep you've had in years.

 

 

 


End file.
